College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My butt remains clenched, sir.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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