woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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