Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
