I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize