She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
