i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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