if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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