i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
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