um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
