In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
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