Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
