he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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