The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
