No awkward lesbian experiences without me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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