some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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