its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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