When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
