Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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