whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Maybe he injected his testicle?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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