his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
