don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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