i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
