I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
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He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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