finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
