OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.