mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
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This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.