Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.