This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
