She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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