currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
