I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize