so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
