Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We named our party play list daddy issues
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
