The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
operation harelip BJ is a go
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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