Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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