i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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