OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
