Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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