were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
