I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You ruined the universe
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize