Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
