Dude my mom stole all your condoms
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need to sanitize my soul.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
