This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
