dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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