is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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