Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
