She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
