So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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