It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
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you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
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I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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