i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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