Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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