a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We had to coat check the pizza.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
