My nipple is on Facebook.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
