Your tits are I can't wait for
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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