please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My dick has a subreddit
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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