I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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