found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
