Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Soap is not a condiment
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
