Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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