I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
