IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
